Sunday, May 11, 2008

Grass

No quote of the day. Maybe later.

Song of the Day: "Anihilation" as done by A Perfect Circle

State of mind: somewhat productive followed by annoyed followed by defeated and then I made pancakes.

Date: May 11th 2008. Mother's Day. (I bought her chocolate.)

I mowed my first lawn today. I know that seems like a wierd thing to do for the first time at my youthful and bouncy age, but it's true. I've waited so long because when I was in the 3rd grade a boy that was in my class had been out of school for a few days. When he came back his foot was all bandaged up so he told everyone that he lost two toes while he was helping his dad mow the lawn because he slipped on a hill and his foot slide under the mower. I had an immediate visual image of the gruesome event, realized that my house is surrouned by the same kind of demonic, ready-to-remove-the-toes-of-little-children hills and immediately made a vow to never touch a lawn mower.
That was until this morning when my landlord hadn't shown up again and it was either mow the lawn or buy a goat. It's going to rain tomorrow and from what people that mow the lawn say, it's a real bitch to cut wet grass. Or you shouldn't cut wet grass because it does something to the mower. I'm not sure, but apparently wet grass is bad. Last year the landlord left in our cellar one of those old fashioned mowers; the kind with two wheels that spin the blades.I figured that it wouldn't be able to remove my piggies so I lugged it up the stairs with my work gloves on and my earbuds in place with a little manual labor music. My yard is about the size of a living room. I'm sure it can't even be techincally defined as a lawn. It's like a lawnette. But it gave me one hell of a hard time. So many dandelions and weeds that just would not be cut. I must have gone over that tiny patch of grass 4 times! Finally I gave in. A majority of the grass was shorn, with a few stubborn weeds standing tall just taunting me. It took me about two hours to mow that lawn and after all of that I figured the weeds deserved to live and left them alone. I put the mower inside the back door and went inside to get a drink before finding the rake to at least tidy up the clippings. As I was getting a glass of water, feeling kind of proud for taking it upon myself to keep my yard somewhat under control, (and oddly looking forward to going back outside to do more), my landlord pulls up with his fancy schmancy power mower and went over the lawn- the entire thing front and back- in under 10 minutes. I kind of hate him.

12 comments:

LL said...

But on the bright side... you can now say that you've mowed a lawn. I'm not quite sure that it's a milestone like your first kiss or first old guy crush, but still...

Now if you just want to ride this wave... come on out here and you can mow my lawn for the rest of the summer.

ctheokas said...

You could solve the mowing issue by moving out of Bat Country. That's what I did, and now I don't have a lawn to worry about.

Beth said...

Omg, 2 hours of labor reduced to 10 minutes. I might have cried. I've been mowing since I moved out because I couldn't stand to hear my husband bitch about mowing plus he's working and I'm home all day anyway. I used to use the old fashioned push kind, but as the lawns got bigger, so did the mower. I still use a push one, but it has an engine.

Why am I getting so into this? lol

Good for you on doing it, either way!

wa11z said...

I think somebody needs to teach you how to mow.

fermicat said...

If your yard is a yardette, all you need is a weed whacker.

Our lawnmower hates me. I haven't been able to start it successfully even one time this year - and every time I give up and go get PDM to do it, it cranks the first time for him. I swear that lawnmower is messing with me just to piss me off. I hope it doesn't get all Steven King on me and try to cut off any of my toes...

LucyDDCF said...

Wanna borrow one of the horses to help you mow it?... Oh .. Wait. Hi Grace, I'm back to posting... oh and Hows u doing? Oh and thanks for the concern, my county gets pummeled by a tornado and you don't even call!!!!!! luv ya anyway. -Jenn

LucyDDCF said...

*Barrow

NYPinTA said...

Wow. You guys got hit by a tornado? What is up with Mother Nature lately?

I think you had borrow right the first time.

Beth said...

Hey, I saw your post below. Did you write a book about saving the planet?

fermicat said...

I just thought of it, but Grassn was a good novel by Sheri Tepper. I recommend you read it instead of cutting the grass next time you get the urge. Since you like books and all...

fermicat said...

"Grass" not "Grassn". Sigh.

trinamick said...

I feel your pain. I knew a guy once that tried to trim his hedge by picking up his lawn mower and holding it up to the hedge. He lost several fingers. I feel squeamish now picking it up even when know it's not running. I don't want to be known as Stub for the rest of my life.