Monday, October 09, 2006

Anyone remember Suzy Chapstick?

Quote of the day: “Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?” ~Billy Connelly

Song of the day: For some reason, “Last Train to Clarksville” by the Monkees

State of mind: more organized then as of late.

Date: 10/09/06 (less then two months till Flanvention II!!)

I think I may be addicted to Chapstick.
I was rummaging through my purse this morning and I had 3 Chapsticks in there. Then I looked in my desk drawer here at work and I have two more in with my paperclips. And guess how many I have at home with my makeup and other girlie necessities. I had three more, giving me a total of 8 Chapsticks. And they are all different too. Cherry, Ice, “Medicated”… I actually like that one best because they make your lips tingle. Some have SPF protection, others do not. I think I have the whole rainbow, a complete collection. It’s a disease.
I also have non-Chapstick brand chapsticks. I have a fancy stick of lip balm made by Maybeline. I don’t like it. It’s very greasy. I also have a small container of pink tinted lip balm made by Neutrogena. I’m sure it’s a nice lip balm if I could ever get any on. You’re supposed to use your pinky and load it up with the stuff and then apply it to your lips. It’s a pretty inefficient means of application if you ask me. A few years back I once bought this expensive berry flavored chapstick from one of those Bath and Body shops. I loved that stuff. It had a slight tint and both smelled and tasted great, but whenever I wore it I found myself nibbling on my own lips and that became a worse problem then any degree of chapped lips the stuff was supposed to prevent. I ended up throwing it out.
I think the reason I am so obsessed with Chapsticks is that I can’ wear lipstick. I’ve tried. No matter what brand or color, they dry my lips out and that is never attractive. The only brand that I have ever found that didn’t turn my lips into the Sahara Desert was Oil of Olay. I bought it for one of my best friends wedding that I was in. It was like heaven! Lasted all night, didn’t smudge… all the things all lipsticks claim and finally it was true. Naturally, Oil of Olay stopped making lipstick. Oh cruel make-up god, why do you hate me? The second reason I can’t wear lipsticks is I don’t like the shape of my lips. Never have. Would I run out and have surgery for an Angelina Jolie like kisser? Um, no. But I have been told once or twice that I have rather large eyes. (And they actually meant my eyes, not the way guys use eyes to really mean something else that comes in a pair.) My nose isn’t exactly petite either. (I get it from my Dad, but he’s 6’2’’ and has a fat head, so he can pull it off.) So, I’d like something a little more proportionate, that’s all. The third reason is, I’m pale. Not too many lipstick colors are made with those of us with pale skin in mind. All the reds make me look dead. Peach? Oh please. Ugh. I can get away with some pinks, but why bother? Reasons 1 and 2 make finding a wearing a color moot.
And when did all this wearing of lipstick nonsense start anyhow?
According to Clearyexplained.com & Pubs.acs.org it started out in Egypt and it was made from poison. Lovely. Pubs.acs.org goes on to point out that at one time a woman using makeup to get a man to marry them could be tried as a witch. Ah, the good old days, huh? Although I’m not to concerned about roving bands of retro Englishmen willing to hang me for painting my lips, I think I will stick with the chapstick. Medicated. It makes my lips tingle.

Dad front: he watched a marathon of A-Team episodes all weekend. Seriously. The A-Team! Do you know how many times Mr. T said, “I pity the fool” in one episode? Now multiply that by 10. The most notable guest star of the episodes featured was Hulk Hogan. He was called Mr. Hulk Hogan more then once, which made me giggle for some reason, and Mr. T spent the entire episode trying to get the Hulkster to admit to being afraid of something. I never did hear if he ever fessed up to a serious case of arachnophobia or Paraskevidekatriaphobia. Betcha it turned out he had Lacto-phobia. (Heh. I made a Mr. T drinks a lot of milk joke. I am so proud.)

Show quote of the day:
“Well that was very Arthur Dent.”

9 comments:

LL said...

My... what big... erm... eyes you have. :P

I was once told that a womans lipstick should be as close to the same color as her tongue is as possible. I don't know why I remember that, but there you go.

As for which lip balm is the best, well... that would be one of the melaleuca brands. I don't know why but that stuff's awesome. The Melaleuca folk claim the other brands put a drying agent in them which makes your lips dry out and then you apply more which makes your lips dry out even more so you apply more...

Before I grew my parasol, that's what I'd use, and it was good stuff.

NYPinTA said...

Wow. Who knew you were such a girl!

fermicat said...

I share your addiction, but Chapstick isn't my brand. My favorite is the kind in the green and white tube from Trader Joe's. PDM says that if I was stuck on a desert island, lip balm would be at the top of the list of things I'd have to have. I also keep tubes of it everywhere. Two at work (one on my desk and one in my labcoat pocket), one in every room at home, and a tube or two in my purse. I copied that habit from my Mom. She will usually put a couple of tubes in my purse every time I go see her.

I've also got the same problem with lipstick. I've never found a color I actually feel comfortable wearing. They're always too something - bright, dark, red, pink, orange, sparkly, etc.. Lip color makes me feel "all tarted up".

I like your song of the day!

Henry said...

Didnt I tell you once you have no top lip?
hmmmm
Anyway---I like the berts bees chapstick--its very tingly. My lips get dried out in winter, so I use it. But I only have one...
I was watching the A-team all weekend too! My wife would just walk by and shake her head.

trinamick said...

My mother taped the A-Team marathon for me and I hadn't asked her to. She said she remembered how much I loved it. Nice, but I was 6 at the time. I'll probably still watch it, though.

I wear lipstick, but I get that expensive crap from Mary Kay. The rest flakes off like paint chips. Nothing lasts long, cuz I chew my lip when I'm thinking.

Not addicted to chap stick, but there is Blistex in my desk and my purse. Only gets used in the winter. Otherwise, it's so dry here that my lips will crack and bleed. I only want to look like I've been in a fight if it's true.

Beth said...

I'm a fan of Blistex, but I only carry it in the winter. Suzy Chapstick. Wow, you made a part of my brain just wake right the hell up with that memory! My synapses thank you.

LL said...

"Nothing lasts long, cuz I chew my lip when I'm thinking."

Good gad, then anything you use should last at least a week. :P

Kathleen said...

I'm having the drying out problem with the new Bath & Body Works lip gloss I bought recently.

I have had good luck with Mac lipsticks and go for a brownish color which seems to work well with my redheaded paleness.

BTW, I've been thinking about you because a friend got me the Firefly boxset for my b-day and now I love it and am so sad that I have only one episode left. Why do the good shows get canceled????

Anonymous said...

I find chapsticks all over my house, not to mention the little tins of lip balm...