Wednesday, August 23, 2006

In my dreams, I have dolphins for pets.

Quote of the day: “Fudgie! Bloop, bloop.” ~Domino’s new commercial

Song of the day: “Vicarious.” By Tool

State of mind: Less distracted. (hahahahahahahahahahaha)

Date: 8/23/06

I was having the most idyllic dream ever of paradise and a chocolate buffet when I was woken up early this morning by the sound of legions of 50-foot renegade robots walking down my street destroying houses and knocking over garbage cans. At least that is what it sounded like to me. In actuality, it was a dump truck and a front loader making all the noise. How long does it take to pave a street anyhow? They have been in front of my house for at least two months. The street isn’t that big for crying out loud!
It was in this frame of mind that I started to get ready for work and in a moment of stupidity, decided to wax my eyebrows. Really. Not completely off. Just, sculpted… or whatever. (Have I mentioned how I am not so great at being a girl sometimes? The primping, preening, high gloss, shoe shopping, fashion conscious kind of girl? I suck at it. I give it a go every once in a while, but it usually goes awry. Like this morning.)
I got out the little innocuous strip, cut it to shape, slapped it on and rubbed as per the directions, then pulled and…. HOLY HEZMANA!! Whose %#@!*&! idea was it that it would be a good @#!%&*! idea to remove hair by sticking %@#!$&*! wax to it and @#%!$&*! yanking it back off?!?!? And BTW, ow.
I don’t normally go through such pains because… well, I could claim a higher sense of what is truly important in life, but honestly it’s because I’m lazy. And I don’t really care what I look like. (Hence my lousy wardrobe.) So I am not sure what got into me. The most I do for appearances sake is dye my hair, but that’s just because I like the different colors. (Eggplant purple is my next color, in case you all were wondering. Maybe I’ll post a picture even!) And at social gatherings where someone went to the trouble to invite me, I might slap on some make-up. I mean, not scaring their friends and family is the least I can do in return, right? So, here I sit with smarting brows feeling not so smart.

Edit: for a quiz that trinamick posted on her blog. I was just curious how I would do. Kind of hard to really figure out the fate of your immortal soul with just a few questions though.

Your Deadly Sins
Sloth: 80%
Gluttony: 20%
Envy: 0%
Greed: 0%
Lust: 0%
Pride: 0%
Wrath: 0%
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%
You will die in front of the TV, watching Firefly.

Hmmm. I think I need some hobbies. ;)

Show quote of the day: “Did somebody cut the blue wire?”


mr. schprock said...

Did you ever see the waxing scene in The 40 Year Old Virgin? Aye carumba!

Definitely post the picture when you go eggplant.

NYPinTA said...

Although I haven't seen that movie yet, I can sympathize. But I did not yell out Kelly Clarkson's name.

trinamick said...

I'm not good at being a girl. I will never wax my eyebrows. I always associate waxing with Hitch.

I don't dye/perm my hair because I'm a complete chicken. I just know I would end up looking like a cross between Tammy Faye and Sandra Bernhard. I don't think I could live with that.

Henry said...

Whew---from the first few lines I was worried you might need Old Glory Imsurance

Henry said...

Yeah I can spell

Beth said...

I even wax my son's eyebrows. Not noticeably, but I spare him from the deadly unibrow. Haven't seen you in a while so was just checking in on ya.

trinamick said...

Oh c'mon, you've GOT to be sinning more than me! How is that possible?

LL said...

I think she edited the bottom part there though...

fermicat said...

You waxed your eyebrows on a whim? In the morning? On a workday? Hmmmm. Very ambitious.

fermicat said...

Hey! I finally got one of your show quotes, because I watched my tape of Eureka last night.