Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I know how to make shoe leather.

Quote of the day: "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are."
Matt Lauer (on NBC's Today Show).

Song of the day: “Vicarious” by TOOL

State of mind: annoyed

Date: 8/8/06

I hate kids. Have I ever mentioned that? They annoy me. Their little voices that carry and pierce. Their sudden movements and unpredictability. Constant demands of gimmie gimmie gimmie. Ugh. Right now there is a kid in the waiting room and at random and very annoying moments he’s just making THIS NOISE that is making my eardrums weep. Not the best way to start the day that has already ticked me off.
But enough about me.
Oh wait. No, there’s more…
I get bored with myself very easily. In truth, I’m not really that interesting. I’m only mildly funny, mildly adventurous, and only mildly… well everything. I have a job, not a career, my hobbies don’t take much energy, and I don’t have any particular talents that make me stand out all that much from any crowd you could ever gather. (Except maybe Pygmies. I’m sure you could spot me pretty easy.) Because of this, I have a tendency to give myself things to do. I guess maybe I’m hoping one of them will stick and I’ll finally go, “Oh. That! That is what I want to do!” So far, no joy. Anyhow, my latest task is trying to teach myself how to cook. Nothing fancy, just the basics. I can handle making things that come with instructions on the box, but if I wanted steak I’d have to stop by Applebee’s and pick one up. Well, I decided no more car-side service! So I bought some steaks, googled how to make them and gave it a go.
Well, they were definitely cooked. I mean, I cooked the hell out of those babies! … Along with all the juiciness and flavor.
I know what the problem is. I left them to cook for too long, but not because I thought I needed too. I just lost track of time while I was getting other stuff ready; which is a problem I have even when making things from a box. Timing. It’s all about timing.
I’ll give it another shot, but I think maybe I should stop and pick up a really loud timer. (I’m so smart!) Also, I think I inherited my mother’s ability in the kitchen. Remember how I said she didn’t cook very often? That’s because she has a tendency to set the oven on fire.
Next up: pork chops! Wish me luck. (And yes, I’ll be picking up a fire extinguisher too.)

And why would you go and smell this on purpose?

Show quote of the day: “I hate it when villains quote Shakespeare.”


trinamick said...

If I want to inhale the stench of roadkill, I'll just stop along the road, thanks.

Cooking tip: I start pork chops frying or grilling when they are still partly frozen. For whatever reason, it helps them stay moist inside. But you still can't let them cook for 6 hours. :P

NYPinTA said...

*pulls out notebook* "Not six hours" Gotcha. Thanks. ;)

I can make a good burger though and pretty much any pasta dish. Just so you all don't think I live on Rica a Roni and Captain Crunch and PB&J sandwiches. (Though... I could...)

LL said...

How can you frell up steak? *sigh* :P

It happens to the best of us. But I still can't believe you googled "how to cook steak". All you had to do was ask...

trinamick said...

I doubt if "Cut off its horns, wipe its butt, and throw it on a plate" is the answer she's looking for.

NYPinTA said...

All you had to do was ask...
And leave me wondering why I should be coating it with garlic and arsenic before cooking? No thanks. ;P Besides, google knows everything.

I doubt if "Cut off its horns, wipe its butt, and throw it on a plate" is the answer she's looking for.
And you would be correct.

LL said...

You really aren't much of a cook, are you P...

You never put arsenic on beef. It's too grainy. Hemlock is so much more complimenting.

Besides, I would never have said that KTM...

You don't wipe it's butt, that's where you get the flavor from!

fermicat said...

I don't hate kids... I hate kids in restaurants. Would it kill people to hire a babysitter once in a while?!? *sigh*

Steak is best when cooked very little. I'd rather eat it raw than have it overcooked! Forget about steak. Oh wait, you already did. :P Didn't you pay attention to your opening quote? Clearly, you should be eating lots and lots of chocolate!

NYPinTA said...

Clearly, you should be eating lots and lots of chocolate! Right! I keep forgetting. ;)