Quote of the day: “Some people have a way with words. Some people not have way.” ~Steve Martin
Song of the day: “Complicate Questions” by Finger 11
State of mind: distracted
I want to run a marathon. Don’t faint! Oh well… it’s probably too late for the ones that know me, but they’ll wake up eventually.
The thing with me is, I hate exercise. The kind you have to commit to doing day after day. Boooooring. My most famous quote in high school was this: I ain’t running unless a big dog is chasing me, and even then I’ll take my chances with the dog.
The other thing with me is, I don’t live in a jogging friendly neighborhood. Not that groups of tweens would throw rocks at me, (although kicking their asses would qualify as exercise, so I dare the little punks!), but I live off of a very very busy road populated by people who can barely drive. I don’t like those odds. I’d rather kill myself slowly in front of the TV then do it quick via a cell phone-talking commuter.
The third thing about me is, I have curves. I kind of like most of my curves; I just wish that some of them were a little less… curvy.
So, in order for this to work I would have to lose some of the curves, and find somewhere that I could run.
Lets tackle the first one first. Fewer curves. How would I do that? I know. An eating disorder. But which one? Anorexia? I don’t have that kind of will power. Bulimia? Ick. Developing a sudden addiction to all things healthy? Come on. That has to be a disorder! Well, I guess its number 3. All things healthy. Great. Yep. Sounds like fun.
Ok. So now I have to find a place to go that won’t result in death by sudden impact, and develop a crack habit. (How else do you think I could convince myself that I should be out running without chemically induced delusions?) Or, I could get a treadmill. Which would cost more: A crack habit or a piece of exercise equipment that won’t get used? Well…after the lawyer’s fees when I get arrested, I’m going to say the crack habit. Or I could join a gym. Ohh. Let’s do that.
Now that I have that all figured out, I just have to find the time. I used to smoke. I did so for a ridiculous amount of years and had tried quitting a few times before, (the first time when I was 14…) but wasn’t successful until about 10 years ago when I approached it from a completely new angle. I did it slowly. I used to smoke Marlboros, so my first step was to cut down on them. Then I switched to the Lights, which made me smoke more because they were so weak. So, I slowly cut back on them. Then I bought that nicotine gum that tastes like pepper crusted cardboard, and in just over a week of that I was done. I’m still amazed it worked so easy. But the point is, I’m going to have to do this slowly too… (If at all. :P)
In other news, do you think my cat would do this for me? Me either.
Angel quote of the day: Cordelia: Who's Colin Farrell?