Quote of the day: “The glass is either half full, or… you know… the other thing.” Toby, West Wing
Song of the day: none
State of mind: eh
Date: 1/24/06 (Yesterdays post.)
We were discussing it at work, the fact that January 23rd is the most depressing day of the year and I can’t believe I didn’t mark the occasion yesterday with a post. That is not like me.
You know what else isn’t like me? Being ambitious. I’m not that girl. Not a ‘go getter’ by any stretch of the imagination. But the other day I had an Idea. I liked the Idea. I really really liked the Idea. So, I asked someone who I thought would either tell me I was crazy or that it was just realistically un-doable, or it was a good idea. She didn’t say I was crazy. I was elated! Then January 23rd happened. It is the most depressing day of the year, (sung to the tune of Most Wonderful Time of the Year!), because suddenly I wasn’t so positive about my evil plan. (Erm…Did I say evil? Ignore that. You never saw that. AVERT YOUR EYES!)
I had all sorts of doubts about it being able to be done, and more importantly, my motivation for doing it. I was bummed. I was going to have to forget about said Idea.
But now I know it wasn’t me, or the idea, it was the day.
I think the main problem was that this Idea I had sort of bloomed full grown in my head one day, with so many possibilities and options that the inner dialog would not stop. It was quite intoxicating actually. But the Idea was followed by a seemingly infinite supply of questions & to be honest, I sort of freaked out a little. (BTW, Sorry Twich.) But now that I have actually gotten 90% of my questions and ideas down on paper, I’ve calmed down. One of my very first ‘quotes of the day’ applies here. “Have much and be confused” by Tao te Ching. It also explains the theory behind too much choice causing depression as explored by the guy who wrote a book about the phenomenon after he tried to buy a pair of jeans one day.
Levis make you blue.
Anyhow, I am much calmer now, and have also accepted that the Idea I had might not be do-able by me, but that there are alternatives. In this case, having multiple choices is not a cause of sadness. And when I figure it all out, you all will be the first to know. Promise.
Edit: Found another one!
Angel quote of the day:
Wesley: Does it sting you...my betrayal?
Illyira: Betrayal was a neutral word in my day. As unjudged a word as water or breeze. No. Or perhaps...I am only bothered because I am bothered.