Monday, November 28, 2005

A Thanksgiving Tale

Quote of the day: “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” ~George Bernard Shaw
Or blog about it. ~me.

Song of the day: “What A Day” by Nonpoint

State of mind: eh

Date: 11/28/05

I know that Thanksgiving was last week and this story is a few days late, but I was busy decimating a turkey and all the fixins… and a chocolate crème pie. Yummy!
Anyhow, this happened more then ten years ago, but it still amuses me.
Me, my sister and mother got back from shopping for the Thanksgiving Day meal only to find that the door to our house was locked, which is something it most definitely never was. My father was home so my mother knocked on the door so he would come and open it because she didn’t have a key. None of us did. Why? Because we never locked the door.
A few minutes go by and no dad. She knocked again, louder. Still no dad. He, Mr. Passive Aggression El Grande, was ignoring us. She knocked one last time while my sister fiddled with the kitchen window, hoping to be able to ‘break in’. No joy.
Finally, in exasperation, my mother picked up the bag with our frozen turkey and swung it as hard as she could at the large pane of glass in our front door.
Smash! Crash! Bang!
The turkey went flying through and just then our neighbor stuck her head out her window and yelled, “Yeah! You go get him! Hahahaha.” Nice. My mother had her own cheering squad.
I don’t recall exactly what happened next, but I do recall my mother stomping down the hall and busting into the den where my dad was. The rest is a blur of epithets and my sister and me giggling. Or hiding. Whatever.
A few days later, we are around the table in the kitchen, (because we didn’t have a dinning room, which I always wanted and finally have but don’t use. Is that irony?), and as we are eating my dad leans over and says to me, “Why aren’t you finishing your turkey?” Now, I had every intention of eating it all, so I have no idea why he asked me that, but being the smart ass that I am I sighed heavily and said, “because I just ate a piece of glass.”
Again, I don’t recall what happened next, but I bet someone was giggling.(Me.)

Angel quote of the day: (Hurray! Season 5!!)
Wesley: I'm still stuck back at, "Why on earth are we here?"
Fred: What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its LA branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said “yes” in, like, 3 minutes?
Wesley: You're run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless
Fred: Oh, that's so sweet. And a tad condescending.

8 comments:

John said...

crème is another one of those words I hate. Like uber and whatever that other one was.

Beth said...

Chocolate cream pie. My favorite!

I know it was probably distressing, but I had to laugh. I have NEVER heard of a turkey being launched through a door before. Gotta love your mother!

mr. schprock said...

"Crème is another one of those words I hate. Like uber and whatever that other one was."

Don't listen to him: "crème" is the crème de la crème of words.

I wouldn't have wanted to be your father in that situation. Did he really lock you guys out intentionally?

NYPinTA said...

My sister and I thought it was funny, but I am pretty sure we aren't right in the head.
I have no idea if he locked us out on purpose or not, but even if he didn't do it on purpose, he wouldn't admit to it. He would rather that we thought it was intentional...
He's not right in the head either.

crème is another one of those words I hate.
Why?

Spirit Of Owl said...

"Mr. Passive Aggression El Grande"
LOL! Nothing passively aggressive about breaking and entry with a frozen turkey, though. I can't imagine why they'd be having communication problems...
Man, the mealtimes you guys must've had. "Y'ain't eaten yer crème pie!" "You know I'll eat when I'm ready." THWUMP! "Ready yet?" And who needs crème pie right in the head!?
Well, that was our house anyway. :)

LL said...

"but I am pretty sure we aren't right in the head. "

Sometimes it's just too easy...

Jim Donahue said...

Angel question: Is the Korean guy on Lost the same guy who played an evil lawyer for Wolfram and Hart?

NYPinTA said...

Is the Korean guy on Lost the same guy who played an evil lawyer for Wolfram and Hart?
Yep.