Friday, November 11, 2005

Deleted Scenes

Quote of the day: “Have much and be confused: ~Tao te Ching

Song of the day: “Vitamin R” by Chevelle

Date: (From a bunch of them.) 11/11/05 One year later.

It’s been a year, and I’m still here. In honor of that I am not gonna do some cheap ass lazy clip show but give you the deleted scenes…blog posts that didn’t make the cut. (Because that isn't 'cheap ass lazy' at all. No way. :P )
But before we get to that, just a quick reminder to anyone who missed all of Firefly as they aired on the Sci Fi Channel. Good news for you, they are airing them again starting tonight, 7PM EST!!

From May: I was thinking about the solar system today, and damn if it isn’t perfect. Except for those asteroids it occasionally throws in our direction. I could do with less of those. At least, the big ones that scientists get all excited about when they are about 1 million miles away. That sounds like a lot, but I guess when you compare it to how many gazillion miles the universe is wide, a million seems like millimeters.
But when you think of how the Earth is the exact distance it needs to be for our weather to be as it is, and is tilted at just the right amount to give us seasons, and we have a moon just far enough away to give us tides, but not to create much havoc… it leaves me speechless.

So, if the universe can come up with a system that is so simple and perfect at the same time, then why is it so hard to do ANYTHING on this damn planet?!?

From June: There are certain things in life that are impossible to do. Insignificant things, but they are irksome that they cannot be done. Like re-stapling two pieces of paper together and putting the staple in the holes that are already there. Or bend a paperclip back to its original shape after it has been straightened out. Picking up a sleeping cat is pretty difficult.
I have also noticed that it is practically impossible to hit a bird with your car. Those buggers, no matter how sure you are they are dead meat, manage to swerve out of the way at the last minute. It isn’t like I try to hit them on purpose. It’s just an observation. I did hit one with my car once though. Does this make me the karate kid? No. Actually, it freaked me out quite a bit. I watched as these two birds were flying around each other and dodging traffic when the first flew at my car and turned at the last minute and the second smashed right into my windshield. Poor birdie.


From July: Stupid commercials really bug me. There are insulting, insipid, and irritating. I hate it that someone actually got paid to come up with these 30 second assaults on humanity.
The ones I hate the most are those that try too hard to sell you on how great their product is and how much you cannot live with out it, (which I know is the whole point of commercials, but it is possible to over sell a product.) Yes, having interchangeable lids on my Tupperware is a good, space saving idea, but don’t have the girl open a cabinet and flail her hands around to knock the traditional multi sized Tupperware down to illustrate how disorganized my cabinets are without them.

From September: The local radio station that we can actually get in clearly in the office is having an ‘everything goes’ marathon. You call, give a donation, and they will play any song you can think of. It’s giving me a headache and has taught me one lesson, if people had the money to have what they wanted whenever they wanted then this world would be even more annoying then it already is.
My proof? Read the list

White Line by Grand Master Flash
Cum on Feel the Noize by Quite Riot
Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog
Seasons in the Sun
Enter Sandman by Metallica
Come on Eileen, otherwise known as the song I hate the most in the entire world!!
New York, New York by Frank Sinatra
You Make Me So Very Happy, by I have no idea. EDIT: Thanks to Henry who called me up to tell me that this song was done by Blood, Sweat, and Tears. Thanks Henry.
Rush!! Run Like the Wind. Woo Hoo! Ok, not so annoying. Except that when they finally played a song I liked the others in the office suddenly decided to have very loud conversations about crap I don’t care about even if it was work related! Jeez. Why couldn’t they have this discussion while Come on Eileen was playing? Huh??
I Think I Love You by The Partridge Family
Having My Baby, which is the cheesiest duet I have ever heard.
Skinny Bop by Poison.. oh dear god, make it stop!! But no. My hell continues:
Sunglasses at Night
Milli Vanilli (Or however it is spelled!)
Some Kind of Wonderful, I don’t know who sings it. I don’t care either.
Hello Mudder, Hello Fader by the Smothers Brothers (I think)
Loving Every Minute of It by Loverboy
Muskrat Love by The Captain and Tenile
It’s Raining Men by the Weathergirls
If I Had A Million Dollars by the Barenaked Ladies

Decapitating dandelions delights devious delinquents DURING DOOMED DEMONSTRATIONS…

From October: I am having the strangest day. I woke up this morning feeling very dizzy, (and I know that those of you that actually know me are thinking to yourself: yeah, so? But I am ignoring you), Despite this I soldiered on thinking that with a little fresh air I would be fine, which turned out to be true until I got to work, where, it should be noted, our power is half off. When I say that I mean, my computer is working, but the lights are not. The outlets on one wall are fine while on another they are all dead. It’s pretty surreal. Everything that I need to do my job is working once I moved the photocopier to another wall while the accounts payable clerk doesn’t even have a working computer. None of the phones are working and I am wondering whom I can pay to make sure that doesn’t change anytime soon. (BTW, the only reason I used ‘whom’ in that last sentence is because WordPad told me too.)

Crap. The electric company is here and I bet the jerk is going to fix everything! Bastard!

From October: You would think that I had learned my lesson about heights from the trees, but since cliffs are not organic, I thought I would chance it.
When I was about 16 or 17 I would go along with a few friends to a local hangout spot for teens that didn't want to be seen by adults doing things that only bored teenagers could think to do. Like build bonfires and throw different things in them just to see what happens. Usually, whatever it was burns. Duh.
* I may finish this one someday, so consider this just a “teaser”, as they say “in the biz.”

Angel quote of the day:
Gunn: Guy steps out for a couple hours, half the place goes super villain.


Henry said...

Skinny bop?
Its UN skinny Bop.
Bret Michaels and his mascara are rolling over in their grave.
Oh he's not dead? Just his career?

NYPinTA said...

Hmm. That's wierd. I had the "Un" when it was in word... Wierd.

mr. schprock said...

If you ask me, all these were ready for prime time. I especially liked the first one. You're a very good writer, Nypinta. May this blog last many, many years.

NYPinTA said...

Thanks Mr. Schprock. I'll be sure to put in a good word for you with my mom. ;D

LL said...

"just a quick reminder to anyone who missed all of Firefly as they aired on the Sci Fi Channel. Good news for you, they are airing them again starting tonight, 7PM EST!!"

Was that meant for me? Finally, you did your job... :aok:

John said...

Did Shprock just tell you to live long and prosper?

I think that just blew my mind

trinamick said...

Such swift subject changes makes my head spin. I would have written that in all s-words, but it took too much thinking.

Stellar said...

What, no Biz Markie?

I probably would've called in and requested the same song I put into the jukebox (3 times in a row) right before I leave a bar - Mountain Jam by The Allman Brothers Band. Bad song? No, it's actually pretty good, but it's 34 minutes long. Times three... you force everybody in the place to listen to the same song for an hour and forty minutes and it only costs a dollar. That's entertainment.

John said...

The word verification for this post: Juebts. If I ever manufacture a product, regardless of what it is or what it does, I think I'll call it Juebts.

Henry said...

Stellar: you reminded me of something--we used to go the Navy Exchnage restaurant in Orlando and play "Lay it down" by Ratt. Why? It skipped
Sometimes it would be 5 mins before the manager realized it, to this day when the song gets to that part--I hear it skip in my head. My friend and I would giggle silly as were punching up old B9
I could harldy breathe as those first few chords kicked in, I was laughing so hard.

Like you said--cheap entertainment.