Friday, July 15, 2005

Ze drem vil finali kum tru: Chicken

Quote of the Day: “The more things change, the more they remain... insane.” ~Michael Fry and T. Lewis

Song of the Day: “Not Falling” by Mudvane

State of mind: optimistic

Date: 7/15/05

I got this sent to me by a friend of mine who shall remain nameless, (Rob! His name is Rob!!), and I thought it was amusing. I bet some have already received this via e-mail from friends who are concerned you don’t have enough humor in your life.

“The European Union comissioners have announced that aggreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changs vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.”


I would have had something more interesting to blog (because really, aren’t all my posts so thrilling?) except that nothing happened yesterday. In fact, here is a brief description of my day so you know I am not exaggerating:
I worked. I blogged. I bought a car. (It’s blue! Which is my favorite color, just in case anyone wants to get me something for my birthday…) I went home in the pouring rain, I made dinner, I ate dinner, then for some reason I got so tired I could barely keep my head up straight, so I thought I would take a quick nap; a power nap. I woke up 4 hours later. I got up, brushed my teeth, watched the news, and went back to bed… and as I drifted off to dreamland for the second time this odd thought went through my head: “I sure do eat a lot of chicken.”
Why? Why would I think THAT just before going to sleep?

Angel quote of the day:
Dru: (singing) Run and catch. Run and catch. The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch.

17 comments:

Spirit Of Owl said...

Zis is mayking me laff owt lowd.

You did nothing today except, maybe, bought a new car??? Damn, I wish all my days were that dull! LOL

NYPinTA said...

Well, I work at a car dealership, so it took a matter of minutes. It's a used car, but it's new to me. ;P
It's mot the one I want though. I would love to have a BMW Mini! If it's good enough for Mark Wahlberg and Charlize Theron, then it's good enough for me! LOL. Not that I want it just as a getaway car, because then I would be revealing way too much...

Spirit Of Owl said...

If you steal the safe's contents and hit the road, don't stop off at any unknown motels on the highway. And avoid Norman.

NYPinTA said...

LOL.

BTW- "mot"= most definitely not.

trinamick said...

Well, that was clear as mud.

You do realize that Mark Wahlberg doesn't actually come with the Mini, right? He's too busy hanging out in my basement.

NYPinTA said...

In his underwear, right?

cali said...

LOL! Funny but scary!

But what the fuck happened to the title of your blog - and when? Has it always been that and I never noticed?

NYPinTA said...

LOL. No. I did it in response to this: Name the Moon

NYPinTA said...

Oh cool! I got a link to work in the comment section!

cali said...

Ohhhh - my bad for not checking out Mr' Schprock's blog.

How'd you get the link in the comments section? I'm in awe!

LucyDDCF said...

not to be stupid, i've been away for awhile, but why did u change your blog name to kevin?

oh and hi Rob!

Happy B-day Henry!

JustTerry said...

Alot of Chicken?? I think the cows from Chick-fila have been sneaking into you bed roomm at tnight and leaving you subliminal messages.

John said...

Maybe you were trying to convince yourself that your new car was practical.

"I sure do eat a lot of chicken."

"Yes, this new car is perfect for all your chicken transporting needs."

mr. schprock said...

"Yes, this new car is perfect for all your chicken transporting needs."

Someone told me this weekend that you can convert a deisel engine to run on vegetable oil and alcohol, and that many of the environmentally conscious who have converted their engines also take used grease from local McDonald's and Burger Kings, filter it, and run their cars with it. And their cars actually smell like Chicken McNuggets!

John said...

Hmm...clean, efficient, economical...plus "McNugget" is one of my all-time favorite words. I can't bring myself to eat the little buggers anymore, but damned if I don't jump on the opportunity to say "McNugget" at every chance I get.

Henry said...

WHere oh where has nypinta gone?
I had a terrible dream that her work was hit by lightning and they lost their internet!
*shudder*

NYPinTA said...

That wasn't a dream. That was me on the phone complaining because we got hit by lightening and I have no internet. :P

I had a friend that would peel off the crispy outer layer of McNuggets before she ate them. McNuggets are kinda scary looking without that golden outer shell.