Monday, May 23, 2005

The cauliflower was good.

Quote of the Day: “I don't care what universe you're from, that's got to hurt.” ~Beed, Episode I.

Song of the Day: ‘One Thing’ by Finger 11

State of mind: bad

Date: 5/23/05

Well, I finally saw it. Revenge of the Sith. I even got up at 7:30 on a Sunday just to make sure I got to see the 9:00 showing.
Before I do a review of the movie, let me describe my day:
I got up and it was rainy which was all right; perfect for seeing a movie. I got there early and found a great parking spot, got a great seat in the theater and couldn’t help but smile when the opening scrawl started and the music was queued. After the movie was over, I had some lunch and for the first time ever I tried California Mashers which are fake mashed potatoes that are actually made of cauliflower. I couldn’t tell the difference! It was amazing… and I hate cauliflower. Then I drove home in the pouring rain only to realize after I had gotten home that I left my credit card at the restaurant so I had to drive all the way back in the pouring rain to get it. After I got back home again, I did laundry and tried to coax my cat out from under the bed.
The best part of my day was the cauliflower, and that is sad.
I didn’t like the movie. I’m sad that I didn’t like it too. I wanted too. I really really did!
I'll do this in list form just to move it along.
1)Apparently the only way to disarm someone who has a lightsaber is to cut off his or her hands.
2)Being a Jedi means having bad hair.
3)Anakin is an idiot.
4)In every scene I thought to myself, “well that will make a cool toy,” at least twice.
5)Don’t piss Obi Wan off. If you do, he’ll cut off all your limbs and leave you squirming in agony while you are on fire. Ouch. But he’s not smart enough to make sure you are dead before walking away. Guess that means Obi Wan is an idiot too. (Thank god he is so hot though, right? ;) )
6) She “lost the will to live”? Give me a f@#$!$@#%^ing break. She is about to have two children after finding out her husband is evil incarnate and she can’t even be bothered to survive to protect them?! Selfish bitch. That was the dumbest thing in the whole movie. But not by much.
7)The Jedi’s are idiots.
8)To Yoda: Split up they should be why? Anakin thought he was having a child, not twins. Having them together would be better camouflage then hiding Luke with the only family Anakin has anywhere… and not bothering to change Luke’s last name to boot!
9)Why in the hell are robots wearing cloaks? They’re robots! It’s not like they can get cold.
10)Still hanging on to the cinnamon bun hairdo! I watched an interview with G. Lucas and he explained the reasoning behind the hairdo in ANH. It was modeled after women fighting during the Mexican Revolution. So, in that instance it fits even if it did look silly. But to keep throwing it in the prequels is almost petty… a bit childish even. He might think he’s being funny, but he’s not. One ‘homage’ to the hair in Episode II was enough. We get it. You liked the hair. Fine.

And that is just my top 10 list. (Notice I didn’t even get to the Padme/Anakin love story. Not even worth the time to pick that apart!)
I think that maybe the problem is that he tried to tell too big a story with these movies. The first three were simple. The Empire is evil and this little band of plucky rebels were going to bring it down. Simple. With the prequels he’s trying to explain everything, and doing it badly. Maybe the story contained in this last movie should have been stretched out to be Episodes I, II, and III. Also, too much of the story was trying to let Anakin off the hook for turning to the Dark Side while at the same time pounding you over the head that he was going to be Darth Vader. Yeah, he had a crappy childhood and he missed his mother. Whatever.
I think it would have been better if Anakin had lived a charmed life, not on Tatooine. (They never should have even mentioned Tatooine until the very last shot, as it was in Sith.) Everything came easy to him and when Obi Wan meets him, (as an adult, or at least late teens), he recognizes how powerful he could be and woos him away from his life, (pissing off Anakin’s brother Owen in the process), to be a Jedi and wants to be the one to train him like he has a need to impress Anakin. Then, bad stuff happens including a Clone War and Anakin, the guy that always had the best luck, loses all hope and makes a conscious well-informed decision to kick a lot of ass. That would have made more sense to me. And throwing in a love triangle with Senator Organa would have been funny, seeing as he’s the guy that raises Darth’s daughter, but that’s just me.
I should mention what I did like about the movie.
1) Yoda, as usual.
2) Obi Wan. Have I mentioned that he’s hot? Yes? Actually, I’m not giving him enough credit when I reduce him to Eye Candy status. He really did a great job as Obi Wan, bad hair and all.
3) No Jar Jar. Good move.
4) The music rocked, but that didn’t surprise me.
5) All the Jango Fett’s was funny.
6) Wookies! (But they didn’t get enough screen time IMO.)
7) The betrayal of the Jedi’s spread across the galaxy scenes was cool. Not that I like Jedi’s getting shot down, but how it was done was very effective.
8) The first moment after they put on the Darth Vader mask and it was silent except for him breathing.
9) Finally getting to see a bit of Alderan. Too bad we know what happens to it.
10) Seeing things like Organa’s Blockade Runner and a quick shot of the Millennium Falcon was cool.

Boy… those fake mashed potatoes really were good.

BTW, remember when I said I had a real bad feeling? Well, it turns out that Dick Cheney is thinking of running for President.


mr. schprock said...

I can't refute anything you said; you make very good points. And I definitely consider this a far from perfect movie. The corny scenes and Obi Wan leaving Anakin to suffer and die as if it were a sort of kindness (he had two reasons to finish him off: compassion and completing his mission). But I advise you to see it twice. Accept the blemishes and concentrate on the good stuff. This movie is, at the very least, extremely beautiful to look at and is a tour de force of special effects, costume, sound, action, etc., etc.

NYPinTA said...

Yeah, it was gorgeous to look at, which is why I feel bad not liking it.
The opening sequence, which looked fantastic, bored me. I didn't feel any tension or anything!
During Lord of the Rings and the attack on Minas Tirath, (or whatever), I jumped twice. I wanted that. Feeling like I was in the ships with them.
But maybe I'll take your advice and see it again next weekend.
I could go for more California Mashers. ;)

LucyDDCF said...

uth i didnt see it, prolly not going to see it... don't really wanna see it... do your spoilers compair to K smiths, I havent read his either ;)

see somethign good (other then me ) came out of california!

NYPinTA said...

I think he gave away even more then I did... I think. I can't remember.
He liked it though.

trinamick said...

Yeah, I wanted to like it a lot more than I did. When we came out of the theater, my friend said, "What did you think?" I said, "Well..." She replied, "Yeah, me too."

I wanted to pimp slap Padme every time she got all weak and helpless and believed Anakin's idiot crapspewing. (That's a word.)And her death was just retarded. I thought the same thing as you.

That said, it was cool to hear James Earl Jones' voice again. Woot!

NYPinTA said...

Yeah! That was sweet! But then they ruined my joy with him wobbling around like Frankestein... which he sort of is, but whatever. It looked silly. Sillier then him facing off with the Burger King!

Spirit Of Owl said...

I want to stand up for the right of robots everywhere to wear cloaks, hats, and carry a damned umbrella if they want to. Have you never heard the story of the Tin Man? Tch!

LucyDDCF said...

here is a blog for your friend that has issues with the word Uber

Vavoom said...

I enjoyed the movie. Yes, the "I love you more" lines made me want to vomit, but still I liked it. Best line in the movie -- Obi Wan to Lord Vader, "You were my brother... I loved you!"
Yeah, I don't know why they had Vader stomping around after getting retrofitted... that did spoil the moment a tad.

mr. schprock said...

"Have you never heard the story of the Tin Man?"

Was that a reference to General Grievous' heart?

John said...

I don't think Padme really just "lost the will to live." I have a feeling that Palpatine had something to do with it. What, I don't know. But I'm sure he did because he told Darth Vader that she had died before she actually did. He knew it was coming. It's obvious that Darth Whoever from his story was his master (you can tell by the way he smiled when he said his apprentice killed him in his sleep) He used his master's knowledge of the force to create Anakin. If he can create life , maybe he can destroy it, too. I don't know. I just have this feeling that Palpatine is responsible.

NYPinTA said...

eh, maybe... but I think that might be stretching it a bit. Yeah that story was Palpatine, but when he said the other Sith was killed in his sleep, I figured the apprentice did it the old fashioned way and just chopped him to bits with his lightsaber. (It's all the rage you know!)
I think him telling Anakin before she actually died was just bad editing. LOL. It seems he wrote the screenplay to hit all the plot points then focused all his attention on the special effects and forgot to be careful with the story.
But at least that answers the question of where Anakin supposedly came from... that he may have been 'created' by Siddious... which is another cope out of why he becomes Darth Vader. Look! The man turned to the Dark Side! Stop coming up with all sorts of excuses why! Sheesh!

BTW- I was wondering, was Grevious once a man but had parts traded in for robotic ones over the years till the only human parts left were lungs and a brain? Hmmm...

" Best line in the movie -- Obi Wan to Lord Vader, "You were my brother... I loved you!""

John said...

In Episode II, there were these weird winged bug-like aliens. They were the ones that built the battle droids. They even sort of looked like battle droids. Again, it's never officially said, but Grievous looks like he was once one of those aliens before he ended up all bionic.

NYPinTA said...

Oh. Well, that would make sense too.

I was also wondering if the Sepratists become the Rebel Alliance along with Organa and whoever else... I mean, they didn't want to be a part of the Republic, so why would they want to be part of an Empire?