Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Time travel

Quote of the Day: “ARRG! Frelling computer!!” ~me.

Song of the Day: Super Duper Love~ sung by Joss Stone

Mood: Annoyed- Computers suck! And Good- Spring is finally here.

Date: 4/12/05

This past weekend “The Crow” was on Starz. Even though I already own this movie on DVD and have seen it a trillion times, I watched it again; and again I became angry and sad. What a waste.
My feelings of frustration reminded me of a question posed by Lucy at her site: “If you could send yourself a message back in time what would it say?” I couldn’t think of any answer for that other then, ‘forget it. You’ll never be a blonde. Put down the peroxide and the box of Loriel!’ Which isn’t a good enough response to such a philosophical question, so I never posted it.
But now I am confronted with the idea of fiddling with the past… and I don’t think the Lords of Time would be wise to give me such power, because these are the dumb things I would do:

1) Woodstock 69. Who wouldn’t go to that if you could?
2) Lotto numbers. Please. No brainer.
3) Go to the first day screening of “The Empire Strikes Back” in every city and ‘accidentally’ tell everyone that Darth Vader is Luke’s dad. Ooops.
4) Microsoft stock. Lots of it. (In case I transpose those lotto numbers.)
5) Go back and inform certain people from H.S. that made my life less fun exactly how their lives have turned out so far. Amazing how sometimes the best revenge could be just the simple truth.
6) Take over the world. I know I am safe putting that here, because if I were to attempt it, it would be in the past before anyone would know of my evil plan, and if I was successful I wouldn't be sitting here telling you what I want to do via this blog.

Naturally, I would also be tempted to try and correct the big things, like 9/11, warn of the coming tsunami, the Columbia and Challenger disasters, or the Elections of 2000 and 2004… but how?
The only noble acts I think I would even attempt would be individual lives. For two reasons, the first being I’m lazy, and the second… actually, I don’t have a second. Lazy pretty much determines most of what I do. Or don’t do. Whatever. In any case, I would try to save Brandon Lee; and not just because he’s cute, (although if you want me to save your life, being cute does help.) I think it’s because how it happened is so damn stupid.
That way, I can watch his movie that I love so much and not be filled with frustration when it’s over. Only giddy joy that the bad guy got his at the end, as it should be. Which may not be the noblest of reasons, but so what. You want noble, get your own time machine.


mr. schprock said...

I'd like to see what Jesus really looked like. I'm betting he was pretty short (compared to today's average height) and maybe looked a bit like the guy who runs the 7-11 around the corner.

NYPinTA said...

Great. Be funny and poignant! LOL!

BTW- Poignant is going on my 'funny words to say when high' list.

trinamick said...

I don't know about that, Mr. Schprock. Think about it. Jesus was the "perfect man." I'm pretty sure I've got a pretty good likeness in my head. :P

I would agree to chaperone my sister-in-law when she wanted to date my brother's best friend. They deserved each other.

I would pretend to be one of Jim Jones' followers and slip in an Uzi.

And I think I'd have to be shaving off Hitler's moustache, dressing him in women's clothing, and selling him as a sex slave in Uganda.

NYPinTA said...

"And I think I'd have to be shaving off Hitler's moustache, dressing him in women's clothing, and selling him as a sex slave in Uganda."

As they say in that beer commercial: Brilliant!

LucyDDCF said...

mr schprock - your sending a letter back in time not yourself
Gosh nypinta - I hope I'm not one of the one's you'd have choosen to haze ...

steve t said...

dammit - now i'm gonna have to do a search to find out how brandon lee died, to see if it was stupid pointless or stupid funny.

NYPinTA said...

I could save you time and tell you Steve, but I have a suspicion you like researching stuff. :P

Stellar said...

I would also save Brandon Lee. But not because he was cute, because The Crow: City of Angels sucked so bad I think it gave me the clap.

I'm not sure but I think Trina is picturing Lee Majors delivering the Sermon on the Mount. And if she wasn't, well she damned well should be.

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