Thursday, April 28, 2005

Careers, trucks, and hummingbirds

Quote of the Day: “I should have listened to my mother.” ~Arthur Dent
“Why? What did she say?” ~Ford Prefect
“I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.” ~Arthur Dent, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

Song of the Day: Something by A Perfect Circle ;)

State of Mind: Two millimeters from ‘Going Postal’

Date: April 28, 2005

I need career counseling. I am one of those people that forgot the figure out what they wanted to be when they grew up…. So I am still waiting to grow up. Unfortunately for me what this means is I have a job, not a career. Today it is a job I want to physically pick up, scrunch like a bad poem, and chuck out the window. * sigh *
I could quit and get another job, but what would be the point? It would just be another job.
Another side effect of not knowing what you want to do with your life is having no marketable skills, unless you count sarcasm and the ability to play a game of Free Cell in less than two minutes. Power Free Cell! Watch me go, baby! I’m a savant.
I have considered many different careers, but for one reason or another, they didn’t feel right.
Here is a list of some:
1) Secret Agent- but I found out you don’t actually get to dress in slinky cloths and kick ass all the time. Boring.
2) Environmental terrorist- but more along the lines of Butterfly Girl, not the kind that burn down housing developments. But, honestly, that’s just too much work without getting paid and no benefits.
3) Librarian- seriously. I read that this country is going to have a shortage of librarians in about 10 years. Talk about job security! Plus, everyone has to be quiet. That’s the rule. Sweet. But, I think it is also a rule that I have to get cat glasses and plaid wool skirts. No thanks.
4) Photo journalist, or freelance photographer. Still not a bad idea, but I think before you can go free lance you have to do two years taking pictures at Walmart.
5) Entrepreneur. But, you have to have something to sell…
6) Astronaut- but it turns out, you have to know stuff. Lots of it. Whatever.
7) Being Vana White- c'mon. How hard is it to push a button to make a letter glow?!
8) Independently Wealthy… ooo, looks like we have a winner!

When I was 17, I saw an ad in the classifieds to join the circus. The only requirements were to be over 16 and have your working papers. Check, and check. I seriously considered it, until I figured if those were the minimum you needed to be employed, it was probably because they were looking for new pooper-scoopers for the elephants. I image there is a lot of turnover in that position. Ick.
And just to round off this bundle of optimism and joy, let me tell you about my morning yesterday!
I was behind a construction dump truck when a rock flew off and bounced underneath my car and hit it. I heard it…. Whack, whack, whack, down the bottom of my car. All I could imagine was this rock puncturing my gas tank. I can’t afford that. Gas is too expensive to be leaking all over the road. So, I look for a license number to at least report it in case some damage was done, except I can’t find a plate. At All! Finally, at a stoplight, I see something about the size and shape of a plate and roll forward till I am practically underneath him and see covered in muck and mud the license number. Great. I get my pen… my pen? Where the F**K is my pen!?! I dig through my purse. I dig through my bag. Glove compartment maybe? Nope. Not there. The light is about to change and I cannot find a writing utensil. * sigh * So I memorize the plate, which you would think would be no big deal, except this is first thing in the morning. I just woke up about 20 minutes ago.
I get to work, muttering the plate number under my breath and the first thing upon entering the building I ask the receptionist for a pen, but instead she grabs me in a bear hug that would make a bear wince in pain because she didn’t end up paying 3000.00 dollars for a purse on Ebay. (She forgot about decimal points and meant to put in a max bid of 30.00 Somehow I am responsible for her not having to pay 3000.00 because I was the one who explained to her about ‘proxy bids’ and it wouldn’t go up that high unless someone else accidentally bid 2900.00 dollars.) Finally, I get to breath again and also get to write down the number. Whew.

Odd fact for the day: There are 27 species of hummingbirds in this country, but oddly, 26 of them are west of the Rockies and never go further east then California. The rest of the country has to make due with just the 1 type of hummingbird. Weird huh?

PS- I am posting this picture of someone who does not look like Jeff Daniels, just to make me smile. ;)

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trinamick said...

I know I had something to say, but the picture made me forget what it was.

mr. schprock said...

I have something to say! Where'd you get that picture of me?!?

steve t said...

Having had a career which is now pretty much defunct, they're not all they're cracked up to be. Thanks for the list though - I'm looking for alternatives. Actually I'd considered librarian for the same reason - no one else talking!

The 26 species of hummingbirds? They're all in my yard kicking the crap out of each other.

LL said...

Have you ever seen a hummingbird land and walk around? It's actually quite extraordinary. They really are teensy little things and their wings are really feathered wings. Ah the stories I could tell, but alas...

Another interesting tidbit, there are no hummingbirds in Hawaii, and those that were introduced were captured and disposed of. Why? They interrupt the life cycle of pineapples, so they are not welcome in Hawaii.

trinamick said...

I can't say I'm a huge friend of the ole pineapple, so hummingbirds just raised a little in my estimation.

LucyDDCF said...

Pinta pinta pinta... *SIGH* you forgot your number one and two dreams of a career when you were young. 1) being a groupie to Motley Crue (gag) 2) being a writer. GO WITH 2. Your really good at it.
There will be a shortage of Libriarians (sp) becasue everything is going to eventually be on computer and there will be no books to actually read. Here they are already down sizing the libraries due to lack of intrest. Instead they have computer libraries. Peeps come in and swipe thier card and go to a computer. You pre-pay for this service and blah blah balh.
OH LAST NIGHT I forgot to tell you to buy Lew Hunters screenwriting 434. trust me. k

LucyDDCF said...

who the hell is that in the pic?

NYPinTA said...

1) Never wanted to be a Motley Crew groupie.
2) *puts on whiny 6 yr old voice* but writing is hard. I don't wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnna.

They just expanded the library here and are going to add a new one. Sure lots of stuff will be computerized, but I don't think books will ever go away.

That's Viggo Mortensen!

What's wrong with pineapples?

steve t said...

Were you singing REALLY loud in the car when the rock "fell" on it?

John said...

That's the guy from Lord of the Rings? He looks like Jeff Daniels.

NYPinTA said...

What?! I must hate you now john.

NYPinTA said...

"Were you singing REALLY loud in the car when the rock "fell" on it?"

Are you trying to say he threw it at me?? ;P Maybe...

John said...

Hello, I'm actor Viggo Mortensen. You may remember me from such films as "The Passion of Darkly Noon" and "Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III." Today I'm here to talk to you about hummingbirds, Nature's electric toothbrush.

Stellar said...

I need to get to California more often. This one variety of hummingbird is making my garden shish kabob come off too bland. It doesn't pop. But with a little lemon pepper it's not bad.

trinamick said...

"What's wrong with pineapples?"

Ever seen Little Nicky? You never know where they might have been.

NYPinTA said...

Wow. Remind me to never watch that movie.

LL said...

Ok. PinTA, never watch that movie.

Henry said...

Theres something about you in cat glasses and a knit shawl telling me to shut up that I cant get out of my head.....

NYPinTA said...

The shut up part I can understand.
;) :P