Thursday, March 17, 2005

St. Patrick's Day

Quote of the Day: "The Irish are fair people; they never speak well of one another." — Samuel Johnson

CD of the Day: Korn "So, you want a single."

Mood: kinda *grr*

Date: St. Patrick's Day

Guess what? I'm Irish. Well... who isnt'? What? Oh right, about 4 other continents. Yeah, I know there are seven, but no one lives in Antartica and Australia is one of ours. You think Nicole Kidman has red hair by accident?
Anyhow, today is St. Patrick's Day and today everybody is Irish. All you have to do to make your transformation complete is this:

1) wear green- sparkly is better.
2) eat cornbeef and cabbage at lunch or dinner or both.
3) drink. A lot.
4) when issuing a toast, always start it with: "May the..." or "May you..." Ex: May your troubles be as few and far between as my grandmother's teeth.
There ya go! Enjoy. And bonus, a haiku:

The Irish are here
And we like to drink green beer
but just once a year.

For today, I thought I would relate this tale from yesteryear:
As I said, I am Irish. I am also the black sheep of the family, along with my sister. And this is why: my father is Irish Catholic, but he had the nerve to marry an Irish Protestant. What a rebel right?
To make my grandparents happy my mother had us baptized in their church, but we had the gall to live in a small town that didnt' have a Catholic church. Only a Christian one. Sheesh! What were we thinking? (BTW- I am rolling my eyes as I type most of this.) So, my sister and I were dragged every sunday to the local church. Actually, it was pretty cool... well, the lawn was. The pastor was a bit of a jerk, and because my sister and I were catholic/protestant hybrids most people looked at us as if the pews were not doing their jobs by not bursting into flame around us. Once, one of the more vocal memebers of the congregation- and when I say that, I mean she was one of those ladies that felt the need to yell "amen!" after every other word the pastor said during sermons- came up to my mother and told her that Catholics don't believe in Jesus. Me, in all my sarcastic 8 year old glory then asked, "So then, who is the guy on the cross?" That day, I discoverd the depths to my mother's morbid sense of humor as I watched her struggle to not burst out laughing.

Here a few random thoughts:

1) If you tell a joke, and you have to say 'get it?', it isn't funny. Accept it.

2) I was watching the news last night and they were talking about the Blake trial and verdict. I just thougth it was amusing when the jurors were interviewed and they said things like: the witnesses weren't trustworthy and they had "shady backrounds." I am just wondering, did they think someone who wants their wife killed is going to ask an honest, upstanding person to do it?

PS- Wish me luck. Today the results from an on-line crossover fan fic contest come in.
PPS- Well, there's the luck of the Irish for ya. I was beaten out by Ertia who did a Highlander/Lord of the Rings crossover. I will admit it was beautifully written... damn it.

6 comments:

John said...

"If you tell a joke, and you have to say 'get it?', it isn't funny. Accept it."

That's not always true. There's a joke in the movie Big Fish, which is too long to write as a comment, but after the guy finishes telling it, he says "see, 'cause my mom was banging the milkman." That actually made it funnier.

Also, I misread your quote as being from Samuel L. Jackson.

NYPinTA said...

I'll have to rewatch that movie...

Samuel L. Jackson? LOL. Maybe if it was "... they never speak well of one another, motherfucker." I would understand.

LucyDDCF said...

Luck and how did it go?

Stellar said...

You forgot the time-tested, "do you have any Irish in you?" "No?" "Would you like some?"

I think every well-touted quotation from every respectable man or lady of yesteryear should be appended with ", motherfucker.".

"Fools admire, but men of sense approve, motherfucker."
Alexander Pope

"Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed, motherfucker."
Emily Dickinson

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong, motherfucker."
Mahatma Gandhi

I like it. I like it great deal.

NYPinTA said...

Maybe I should do that with all my future quotes? Hmm... "I like it. I like it great deal, motherfucker." ~stellar

trinamick said...

Just as long as you don't quote the pope. While funny, that might get you burned at the stake too.