Wednesday, March 16, 2005

For g_s

Quote of the Day: "He was a wise man who invented God." ~Plato
"Plato is a bore." ~Friedrich Nietzsche
"God is dead." ~Friedrich Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead." ~God

Date: 3/16/05

After reading a recent post at random-squeegee.com I must say that Wah Kee has part of a point. A point and possibly one of the funnest names to say ever; except for maybe Antonio Bandares or Yngwie Malmsteen... but for completely different reasons... Anyhow, it isn't faith or belief that is the problem; and I can prove it. Well, sort of.
I remember once the Brew Crew giving my ex, (the skinny guy a few posts down- who, whether you want to believe it or not has a belt in...um... something martial), a hard time because once when at a bar where an altercation broke out, he was behind me until it was over. That made me wonder, just what would divine beings say to each other under similar circumstances?
Allah: "Christians? Really? That's who you got fighting for you?"
God: ""They are good people."
Allah": "And tasty too. So the lions say."
God: "Yeah, well, I put an end to that. What about you? A crazy guy in a cave? That's the best you could do?"
Allah: "Who? Him!? Oh, he's not one of mine." Allah brings up one eternal, omnipotent hand and twirls it by his ear.
God: "Oh... crazy, huh?"
Allah: "As a top hat."
God: "I think you mean 'mad as a hatter'."
Allah: "You and your idioms. What about that guy in the big white house?"
God: "Pfft. Not mine." He holds up his hands that have sway over all creation. "No way."
Both blessed beings eye each other, thinking.
Allah: "Then...?"
God: "...who?"
Realization dawns.
Allah & God: "LUCIFER!"
God: "Of course!"
Allah: "It makes perfect sense. Why didn't you realize it before 'oh trinity of divinity'?"
God: "Hey! I had to hold back millions of souls from eternal damnation every friday night after Fear Factor!"
Allah: "Oh. Right. Well.. I had radicals to deal with."
God: "Don't we all. But now we know who is to blame for that!"
Allah: "So..." He looks down at the small blue green speck, "you think any of them are still ours?"
God: "Well, there was some guy in MA that had some sincere things to say, so yeah, I'd say so."
Allah: "He wasn't very eloquent though..."
God: "Truth is truth... eloquence be damned."
Allah: "Good point."
God: "Maybe, next week, that Joe will get laryngitis."
Allah: "You are generous."
God: "Eh. I try."

12 comments:

trinamick said...

Another good name to say: Englebert Humperdinck. Especially if afterwards, you say, "Humperdinck, Humperdinck, Humperdinck!"

NYPinTA said...

LOL!
True.

mr. schprock said...

Hey, I'm just glad God stopped being a Yankee fan for one year. If Allah had any influence on Him, then Allah Akbar!

LucyDDCF said...

eth eth .. so saith the said atiest (sp) I thought in your religion, even for the purpose of siting a statement, it was against all terms of agreement to use the word "God" or any biblical reference therof.. to which may promote said thinkings of the conformost thinking ... :P

John said...

At least from my perspective, that conversation would be between Jesus and Mohommad, since God and Allah are one in the same. If there is a God, then everyone is worshiping the same God, and if there is no God, then everyone is STILL worshiping the same, non-existant God.

If a man is named William, some people might call him Will, or Bill, or Billy...etc. But even though different people call him different things, he's still the same guy.

NYPinTA said...

Like omnipotent beings don't talk to themselves? There is a fine line between divinity and schizophrenia IMO.
Zeus had long chats over tea with Jupiter all the time.

John said...

Now you've got me thinking of the scene from LOTR with gollum talking to himself.

trinamick said...

So when my brother used to yell, "Latrine!", it was the same as calling me Katrina? I don't think so.

steve t said...

"There is a fine line between divinity and schizophrenia". Did you just come up with that - its brilliant!
"The dopamine theory of godliness." I love it!

NYPinTA said...

No problem. ;)

"So when my brother used to yell, "Latrine!", it was the same as calling me Katrina? I don't think so." I'm betting he got a lot of ass kickings...?

Jose said...

Wah Kee has a brother named Wah Shing, no joke.

NYPinTA said...

LOL. Really? I bet the names mean something really cool like: 'I can kill you with my pinky' so I shouldn't make fun... but I'm gonna anyhow.
I live on the edge.