Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Why am I not dead yet? Part I- The Early Years.

Quote of the Day: "I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger. Then it hit me." ~trinamick

CD of the Day: Radio

Mood: not swinging

Date: 2/22/05

These are three stories, all of which happened before I turned 4. I have no idea how I survived into adulthood.
The first is one I don't recall, but my mother loves telling it. I was about two or two and a half and she left me in the livingroom for some reason. While she was gone I had apparently climbed onto the very back of a rocking chair and was meticulously taping individual Rice Crispies to the window, one at a time in even rows. She claims she nearly fainted when she saw me because she was afraid that I would fall off and break my neck. I have no idea how I didn't.
The second I also don't recall, but that could be from the black out. I was two and my mother brought me to my grandparents bar to visit.
She put me on the lap of one of the regulars who had a shot of whiskey in front of him. According to her, I threw it back like a pro and the man whose lap I was sitting on freaked out. He kept yelling for someone to call an ambulance, but my mother- ever the calm one- told him to just let me sleep it off... which I apparently did. (How I didn't end up with Social Services either I'll never know.)
The third I recall quite clearly. I was three and again left to my own devices. (You would think they would have learned, but nooooo.) I was in the living room and I remember that everyone else was in the den watching tv. I had a pair of tweezers, and it is amazing how much they look like they should fit into an electrical outlet; which is exaclty what I did. *POP* then *FWOOM* The outlet blew, but somehow I didn't get electrocuted.
I don't think they left me alone again for quite a while, because I didn't nearly kill myself agian till I was about 8.
Tomorrow: Part II- TREES!


trinamick said...

I've been quoted! Cooolll!

My nephew got caught when he was 2 underneath a keg at my cousin's wedding, just slamming beers away. His reason for needing a drink? "I wanted to beep it." He was fascinated with the handles on the keg. The fact that beer came out was just a bonus.

steve t said...

After reading that, I have no idea how you made it either - congratulations!
btw - that's a great quote!