Sunday, February 13, 2005

Dear Mr. Rollins, This is all your fault...

Date: Henry Rollins Birthday. So, in honor of him I thought I would tell this story: Why my breaking a leg is his fault.

It was 1996 and a friend of mine and I drove over to Massachusettes to see Rollins Band play at some small club in Springfield. We didn't have directions so we stopped at the information booth in Lee where this little old lady gave us directions down to what building to park next too... for a town three counties away. That woman was amazing, and the Highway Dept. replaced her with a computerized kiosk that doesn't work 90% of the time. Progress? Pfft. Whatever.
Anyhow, we got to the club, sweated our asses off, listend to him rant and scream, and our ears bled. It was awesome. Lots of *grrrr* and *arggg* and testosterone. After the show we were walking to our car and who comes out of the back? Some guy I didn't know. But right after him Henry Rollins came out. So after a little debate we walked over to him.
My friend asked him for a job. I kid you not. I couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth so I just stood there dumbfounded.
He said "no", then he called my t-shirt a monstrosity. (Probably because it had his picture on it.) I agreed. I am such a dork.
Next day, I am hanging with my funny drunk friends playing volleyball. Somehow, and I think it was the influence of the show the night before, I was still all *grrrr* and *arggg* and tried to knock over one particular drunk friend. It didn't work. Instead I lost my balance and he fell on top of me and my leg snapped like a twig. That was how it sounded too. Like I had stepped on a twig. Hurt a lot worse though.
My then boyfriend had to drive me to the emergency room where a guy named Dr. Green, (I swear), set my leg and put a cast on it that went from my ankle to past my knee. Having my leg set hurt a whole lot worse then when it broke BTW. (Also, I broke up with the then boyfriend because he ditched me to go see strippers with his friends after I dragged my ass-and a broken leg- to his house to see him. Jerk.)
So, you see how it was Henry Rollins fault right? If he hadn't been all *argg* and *grrr*, I wouldn't have thought I could lift up a 200lbd drunk man.
Makes complete sense, right?

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